"I am crying, but I don't regret"

Every year takes us further away from the terrible war and bloody victory. It is difficult for our generation to be aware of the high price people paid for it. However, we have an opportunity to get in touch with that time not through bare facts, pictures or textbooks, but thanks to our grandparents and our much respected heroes. With every coming year there are fewer tears in the eyes of widows, mothers and daughters, but the bitterness in their hearts will never disappear. The people whose relatives and friends did not return from the war will always grieve for them. But if we ask an old veteran whether he or she regrets the death of his nearest and dearest, I wonder what the reply will be. The answer will be: “I am crying, but I don’t regret, because they sacrificed their lives defending our Motherland.” Yes, we are still lamenting those who did not live to see the great victory, those who were in captivity in horrible concentration camps and never came back.

However we do not regret, we are proud of our people. I often recall the famous words: “It is better to die upright than live kneeling”. These are daring words. Those who fight for freedom, not sparing their lives, deserve these words. As a representative of the young generation I cannot even imagine many of these things. The veterans’ stories about what the war was greately impressed me. I fully understand that it is necessary for the young generation to know as much as possible about it. Otherwise it is impossible to realize what the war generation has done for us. We, the successors of this victory, must understand why we can cry, but not regret. Let’s address our history. The total demographic losses of our country, including casualties, was 26.6 million people. If we compare it to the losses of Germany, they were more than 11.8 million people. The comparison is so clear, that there is nothing to say. The only thing we can do is cry, but not regret.

I think no one will be indifferent to the veterans’ stories. That is why I would like to quote what some of them told me during our interviews. A retired general-lieutenant (генерал-лейтенант в отставке), Yuri Rodionovich Khomchenko (Юрий Родионович Хомченко) was only 11 years old when the war started. He says that his generation did not have any childhood. “We, the 10–12 year-old kids, endured a lot and suddenly found ourselves in adult life,” recalls the veteran. “And the fascists… How clearly our minds remember this horrible horde. They took the last things people had: bread, wheat, flour, potato, milk..., leaving nothing but dying of hunger. Of course, it is very difficult to talk about the war, particularly for us, the kids of war. The war left an unforgettable memory for the rest of our lives. It is very sad and bitter to think and talk about. But the main thing that we know is that our sufferings were not in vain. That is why we do not regret our past.”

Maybe you have heard stories about the Leningrad blockade – which leaves no one indifferent. Once, when I was at a veteran’s house, one small, old, thin book drew my attention. There were the following words inside the book: “To Vera. We did not suffer in vain! 1946” It was a collection of poems of a blockade witness. Without thinking I scanned the first page, then the second, the third... It was impossible to continue reading it any more. I got terrified: how could it have been possible? Could those people have seen all these things with their own eyes? I managed to talk on this topic with Galina Petrovna Sarafannikova (Галина Петровна Сарафанникова). She remembers clearly the day when the war started, the day that changed her life completely. “It was Sunday the 22 of Junе; I was walking with my parents on the Neva Boulevard. Suddenly we heard Molotov’s speech on the radio: ‘The war has started’. On that day my father was called up and I guarded the house everyday from 23:00 p.m. till 6:00 a.m. to warn the dwellers about air-raids. Lessons were stopped. Some students were evacuated; boys were called up; and as for teachers, many of them died of exhaustion. We went to school not for knowledge, but for food. They gave hot water with some barley seeds. When the blockade was lifted the people remembered forever what had happened in the city: the burnt buildings, the ruins, dead people buried right in the yards. No, deep in the heart we understood everything, and did not regret anything, because it never came to our minds that we could not defend our Motherland – run away and hide somewhere”.

I was lucky to associate with heroes of the Soviet Union, veteran pilots who were on the enemy’s territory a lot of times. They came back and went on fighting again and again and again. These are the people who were on the front fighting face to face against fascists. They do not talk much about the war. They only recall their friends, many of whom are not alive now. Unfortunately, with the years, there are fewer and fewer such people. We are getting away from that war further and further. What is awaiting us in the future? We do not know. The veterans say that it will be more difficult for us than for them. Now, we do not believe willingly in these words. What if we – the ordinary boys and girls, the future of Russia, being under the guardianship of our parents, nurses, teachers – suddenly experience something like the war of the 1940s, will we be able to defend our Motherland, sacrificing our lives and of our nearest and dearest? Our forefathers performed this heroic deed. They grieve and cry. But they do not regret.

Photos submitted by the author