Главная страница «Первого сентября»Главная страница журнала «Английский язык»Содержание №23/2009

Frequenty Asked Questions About Christmas

Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.

Question: What’s red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.

Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.

Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
Answer: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.

Question: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Answer: Because he had low elf esteem.

Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.

Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said “I could not work out what size her nose was!

Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental. (Sentimental)

I know. I know. People say “It’s the thought that counts, not the gift”, but couldn’t people think a little bigger!

Santa Claus sure is a jolly fellow! Imagine all that driving and still being able to say “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Father to three-year old: “No a reindeer is not a horse with TV antenna.”

Question: Why do we wish people a “Merry Christmas” instead of a “Happy Christmas”?
Answer: The two are about the same, but with “Merry Christmas” an extra twinkle is seen in the eyes.

Question: Why is a Christmas tree that has been chopped down called a “live Christmas tree?”
Answer: It’s dead but doesn’t know it, and yet it’s having the time of its life.

Question: Why do we wrap our Christmas gifts with paper?
Answer: Because we like to see surprise and joy (real or kindly faked) in the recipients.

Question: How many gifts can Santa Claus’s bag hold?
Answer: One less than infinity. Why one less? Because there’s a limit to everything.

Question: Is there really a Mrs. Santa Claus?
Answer: The best way to know for sure is to ask Santa Claus next time you see him.

Question: Why do we hear so many bells at Christmas time?
Answer: Because so many people ring them.

Question: Why do so many people ring bells at Christmas time?
Answer: For the poor, for the joy, and because a bell can say what words can’t say.

Question: What can’t words say?
Answer: The moment you wake up on Christmas morning, listen carefully. You may hear then what words can’t say.

Source: www.dezert-rose.com

Compiled by Erin Bouma