Escapism: Reasons, Forms and Outcomes
“Je t’aime, melancholie”. (“I love you, melancholy”.)
Mylene Farmer’s song, a French singer
There have always existed people who prefer to escape from reality in one
way or other. Particular reasons for escaping in every case are different, as well as
forms and outcomes. But the general trend of reasons comprises a lack of self-confidence,
low self-esteem, inferiority complexes, fear, dissatisfaction with life and unwillingness
or incapability of improving the situation somehow, changing one’s life for the better.
Why do people become disappointed, dissatisfied with life and choose to escape from it?
Does it mean that they are following the line of least resistance and prefer not to take
risks? Or do they simply lack courage, determination and belief in themselves? These
questions are not that easy to answer.
Only one oneself and nobody else constructs one’s own fate. And if one puts oneself in a
corner, one does it with his or her own hands, too. One should work out and develop the
psychology of a person who can take responsibility for oneself and one’s own life
without anybody’s help.
Well, yes, people choose to escape from life because it doesn’t suit them somehow.
Perhaps their dreams have been broken, or something. But if that is the case, why not try
again? Another attempt may well enough prove successful. Perhaps that failure is not a
tragedy and a crucial point in life at all, but just an unpleasant episode only to be
forgotten.
Nevertheless some people prefer not to try. And sometimes it’s not the matter of either
courage or determination. It’s the matter of being oneself. If one has failed in
something, can it be wise to accept oneself as a failure, that is with a number of one’s
own faults, drawbacks, weak points and shortcomings and not try to convince, or rather
deceive the world and oneself that one is perfect? One should rather be, not seem. It’s
much better to be oneself the way one actually is and not seem great and prominent if one
is not as such. To admit defeat here, paradoxical though it is, means to win. All great,
outstanding people have proved able to decently endure moments of defeat. (magazine
“Liza”, № 18/2005, May, 2; № 21/2005, May, 23, publishing house “Burda”,
section “Psychology”, www.burda.ru).
It’s, on the other hand, another thing when a person not at all self-confident is trying
to convince everybody else (including oneself, which is no less important) that he is
capable of doing or being something great. He makes a lot of attempts to succeed in
something and sometimes he does succeed. But can it be a form of escapism? A person is
escaping from oneself, he doesn’t want to accept himself as he is, that is he’s
escaping from reality.
We can see a lot of such examples among famous people* who wished to become famous in order to prove that
they are capable of achieving something. And miserable, pitiful examples they are all the
same, regardless of all the money, fame, prestige and various other things they’ve been
so much longing for.
What does it actually mean to escape from life? How can we know whether a person is
escaping from reality or not? That’s also quite difficult to distinguish. What does a
person escaping from life avoid? People? Activities? Or, on the contrary, one’s own
company? That rather depends. Some people may prefer to avoid other people and do
everything possible to be alone. Others may never wish to be alone, that is with their own
thoughts and feelings.
Still a more difficult question is the following: what are the forms and outcomes of
escapism? That again depends on a concrete person: trying to be alone as much as possible,
avoiding other people or taking part in all sorts of activities; travelling, going to
parties, cinemas, theatres, concerts, etc.; overworking; depressions, aggressiveness,
nervous break-downs, alcohol and drug addictions, low spirits, unhappiness.
One can’t be escaping from something all the time. One has to face the reality, and the
sooner the better. If a person doesn’t want to face reality, reality itself will one day
face him. And an awkward and unpleasant encounter it may also turn out to be.
Well, all people escape from reality from time to time. That is quite normal. But one
thing we should remember, and that is occasionally to come back, at least for a short
while.
* “As a teenager, I was
written off as an oddball. Coming from the docks of Belfast and living in a back-to-back
in Leeds, I was thought of as ‘Daft Harry’ because of my obsession about becoming a
writer.
Getting a safe job, earning a steady wage – that was the philosophy of life. So I went
into a succession of boring clerical jobs. I wish I hadn’t wasted my energies in so many
directions… .
Because I left school at 15 with no School Certificate I thought I was a failure… .
But at 18 I longed for a piece of paper that said I was intelligent. I got it eventually
when I was 31 after taking a double honours degree through night-school and correspondence
courses. It didn’t mean much, apart from improving my career prospects. I became a
lecturer in a polytechnic and finally a tutor at Leeds University. It was an ego trip more
than anything else.
For me life has been a disappointment in general terms, which may sound surprising.
…life is life, in spite of success. The total sales of my books are now well over 100
million. When Eagle was number one in England and number one in America, I never
thought my success would continue. Since then I’ve had six more number ones. I’ve
climbed my personal Everest. And so what? I realize I’ve been driven by a terrible
desire to achieve. That desire made me a workaholic. I didn’t have time for hobbies, so
now that I do I find there’s nothing I really want to do.
So what? is a phrase that has figured rather largely in my life. I’m glad I didn’t
know at 18 that when you’ve got to the top of the peak you’re left with an
emptiness”.
Jack Higgins (real name Harry Patterson), a millionaire.
Headway Upper-Intermediate, Student’s Book, John & Liz Soars, Oxford University Press