Did I Ever Tell You...?

Did I Ever Tell You... about the time when I was Snow White for a week?

Our Brownie troop was getting ready to do a play. We were all pleased because the play was Snow White. Snow White is a good story.

On the night when we were choosing the characters, Brown Owl, the troop leader, was sick in bed with a cold. So Tawny Owl, her assistant, said, “We can’t leave it any longer. We must choose the people for their parts tonight!”

Every Brownie had a turn at standing on the stage. Some sang songs, some recited poems, and others told bits of stories.

When it came to my turn I told the Brownies a joke my brother Francis had told me at supper time. It was this one:

There were two butcher shops on the same street. One butcher put up a sign that said:

SAUSAGES FIT FOR THE QUEEN.
So, what do you think the other butcher did?
He put up another sign. It said:
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.’

Tawny Owl and all the Brownies laughed. Then, I couldn’t believe my ears. Tawny Owl said, “Rosemary, I think you would make a very lively Snow White. Would you like to be Snow White in the play?”

Would I like to be Snow White? I was speechless. I had always wanted to be a princess. I sat on a chair near the stage dreaming about how wonderful it would be to wear a long silk dress and to be a real princess.

Tawny Owl gave out all the parts except the part for the dwarf Sneezy. No one quite suited it. Then she gave us the typed-out words of the play to learn. I couldn’t wait to go home to start learning my lines.

I ran all the way home. My mother and father were pleased that I was going to be Snow White. My brother Francis looked up from the book he was reading and said, “Great,” so I knew he was pleased to have a real princess for a sister.

By the end of the week I had learned all my lines. I had learned some of the lines for the prince and the wicked queen as well. The next time I went to Brownies, I was ready to begin rehearsing.

The next week Brown Owl was back. Tawny Owl asked us to stand up on the stage to show Brown Owl which Brownie was acting which part.

Brown Owl liked everyone. Everyone except me. She sighed a mighty sigh and said, “No, no, Snow White doesn’t have wispy fair hair and a thin little face. Snow White is tall and plump. She has rosy cheeks and thick black hair.”

Brown Owl let her eyes travel over us all. Then she said, “Phyllis Barker, you would be perfect as Snow White. Rosemary, you can be Sneezy. I’m afraid you won’t have words to say, but you can sneeze all the time and make us laugh.”

Brown Owl must have guessed that I was feeling miserable about losing my part as Snow White. She said, “I know, we’ll cover your nose with lipstick and make you really comical.”

I walked home very slowly. I didn’t want to be a sneezy little dwarf with a red lipstick nose. I wanted to be a princess and wear a silk dress.

As I walked along, Phyllis Barker ran past on her way home. “Ha, ha, hee, nee,” squeaked Phyllis as she went by. And that was how I was Snow White for just a week.

Did I Ever Tell You... about the time when my brother Francis taught Brown Owl a lesson?

Do you remember how I was Snow White for just a week? And do you remember how Brown Owl changed me from Snow White into a dwarf called Sneezy with a red lipstick nose? Well, my brother Francis made a plan to teach Brown Owl a lesson. This was the plan, and it was a great success.

To begin with, Francis borrowed my copy of the play. He made another copy. On the real copy there was a star beside the name Sneezy whenever the dwarf Sneezy was to sneeze in the play.

Francis wrote “Sneezy” and put red stars all over his own copy. He thought I should sneeze in the wrong places as well as the right places. That would teach Brown Owl a lesson and teach her not to make a princess into a sneezy dwarf!

Twice a week at Brownies I rehearsed sneezing in all the right places.

Every night at home I rehearsed sneezing in all the right places and all the wrong places. Francis was just like a movie director. He sat on a chair and ordered me to sneeze loudly or quietly or to shake around.

Francis said, “Every play must have a Grand Finale!” A Grand Finale is a very exciting part at the end of the play. So just when Snow White was waking up from her poisoned sleep and the prince was about to kiss her, Francis made me rehearse my loudest sneeze and a crashing fall onto the floor.

Rehearsing two versions of Snow White was very hard work.

At last the great day arrived. All the Brownies went to the hall early to put on their costumes. Tawny Owl helped us to put on some make-up. I had the reddest lipstick nose in the whole world. It was simply horrible.

Soon mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles began to arrive. They were all sitting in the audience chattering. We kept peeping out from behind the curtain to see if our own families had arrived. I could just see Francis with his friends Derek and Jack sitting in the second row. At last the curtain went up and the play began. It started very well.

But it grew worse and worse. Every time I sneezed in the wrong place the other Brownies forgot their lines. And every time I sneezed, Francis and Jack and Derek roared with laughter and started clapping. The rest of the audience joined in. They thought it was part of the play.

With all the interruptions, Brown Owl had to prompt us louder and louder. At last she grabbed me by the collar and hissed, “What’s wrong with you tonight? For goodness’ sake stop sneezing. Have you got a cold?”

At last it was time for the Grand Finale.

Snow White began to awaken. The prince leaned over her. I threw myself down to the floor with a mighty sneeze and a crash.

Unfortunately, the crash was too good. The next dwarf fell down too. As she fell, she grabbed hold of another dwarf by her costume.

Her costume fell down. So she stomped on the toe of the dwarf who pulled her costume down. There was rapturous applause from the audience. They thought it was the best part of the play. Nobody even noticed Snow White and the prince standing in the centre of the stage saying their lines about living happily ever after.

As the Principal was leaving, he went up to Brown Owl, with tears running down his cheeks. He said, “I must congratulate you. I don’t know when I have laughed so much. These girls aren’t just Brownies, they’re a bunch of comedians!” Brown Owl smiled, but it was a very thin little smile.

And that was how my brother Francis taught Brown Owl a lesson.

By Iris Grender