How to Write Three Kinds of Personal Letters
Write a Personal Letter to Your Friend
How many times have you ripped open a letter from a far-away friend, only to be left feeling disappointed when you reached the last line? Most letters consist of a few, hastily scribbled sentences that tell you absolutely nothing about what is going on in the writer’s life. Don’t be guilty of wasting a stamp on a letter like that. You can write a letter your friends will love to receive. Here’s how.
1. Drop the formal address that you learned in grade school. Instead of “Dear Jack,” write, “Hi Jack,” or “Hi there Buddy of Mine.” In other words, a personal letter deserves a personal greeting.
2. Start your letter by asking how their life is going. Not, a boring, “How are you?” but something that will let them know you really want to know what is going on in their life. Try saying, “I’ve been wondering how your new car deal came out. Did you end up getting the Volkswagen Van or the Jeep Cherokee?” If you know about some other ambitions, problems, or plans, ask specifically about these, too.
3. By now you should have two or three paragraphs. Only then should you switch over to what you have been doing. (Let’s face it. People are more interested in themselves than they are in other people, and starting your letter by inquiring about their life, lets them know they matter to you.)
4. Next, jot down two or three things of interest that have happened to you since you last wrote. (They really don’t care whether or not it has rained for three days in a row.) Pick things that the person you are writing to would care about. If he likes to read, recommend a book you think he would like to read; if he is a woodworker, tell him about a man in your town that just won an award for carving bears with a chainsaw. Don’t those make more interesting topics for your letter than the observation that you went to have your teeth cleaned yesterday? If you broke your ankle, or had a coronary bypass, by all means, include it in your letter, but avoid the mundane things that happen to almost everyone, everyday, everywhere.
5. Your last paragraph should, if possible, remind the recipient of something the two of you share in common. This keeps the bond between you strong. Perhaps you went to high school together. You might mention that your ran into an old classmate at the store the other day. You could tell your reader that you really miss the old times you shared together.
6. Finally, end your letter with a friendly phrase of some kind. Use the recipient’s name, if possible. After all, we are still talking about personal letters. “I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon, Jack,” is much better than, “Truly yours.”
Sit down today and answer those letters that have been piling up because you don’t know what to say. You’ll be surprised at how much more fun writing letters can be when you put a little effort into really “getting personal.”
Write a Meaningful Thank You Note
Ever find yourself at a loss for words when you want to write a note of thanks?
Everyone appreciates a word of thanks for doing a good deed. Whether it’s a helping hand, a special gift, or a listening ear, other people’s offerings should not go unacknowledged; they deserve special thanks.
Writing puts your gratitude into tangible form and allows the receiver to keep and treasure it for years to come. But if you’re at a loss for words in trying to frame an appropriate message, these tips may prove valuable.
1. Choose good quality paper and ink. If it’s a handwritten note, select an attractive card with a meaningful drawing that your reader can relate to. For handwritten cards, use bright ink and a solid ball point pen or marker. Pencil writing can fade and give a temporary feel to the message. If you print the thanks on your computer, be sure the ink is dark and replace the toner cartridge if needed.
2. Plan your message first. You may want to draft a few sentences before putting pen to card. On the computer, though, you can experiment, simply deleting text that doesn’t work. When handwriting, you can print words if your cursive style is less than neat.
3. Choose strong, positive phrases. Instead of a simple “thanks,” consider expressions like the following:
“Time is precious; thanks for sharing yours.”
“My heart was humbled by your gracious gift.”
You may want to include a famous quote that can be touching, thoughtful, or humorous.
3. Write more than a sentence or two. Brevity may suggest a limited amount of gratitude. Provide a short paragraph or several sentences to convey warm, personal thoughts. Mention the gift and its use specifically:
“Your $50 restaurant certificate made the perfect end to a hectic day!”
“Spending an hour over coffee together was just what I needed to get through that awful day.”
4. Add an overall statement or summary of the relationship or the person’s special qualities. Your one-time thank-you will be appreciated, but this is a great time to tell the person how special he or she is in general, which all of us need to hear sometimes:
“I know I can count on you whenever I need a listening ear.”
“You’ve been a blessing to many in our group.”
5. If possible, offer something in return. While this is not always necessary, it makes a nice, occasional touch:
“I hope you’ll let me come and baby-sit for you soon.”
“Let’s have lunch, my treat, to show my thanks.”
Though we often scribble note cards as an obligation rather than a joy, they can assume greater significance if we take time to plan them first and write them carefully. Use this opportunity as an inexpensive way to show a friend how much the relationship means to you.
Write a Note of Condolence
Finding the right words to comfort someone over a personal loss is an important way to offer sympathy and condolences.
When a friend, co-worker, or relative loses a loved one to death, conversations can be difficult or become emotional. Sometimes the survivors drop out of circulation temporarily as they tend to final arrangements or spend time alone or with family in mourning. Sending a note of sympathy is an expected and valued way of offering comfort. It’s good to take the time to thoughtfully write a few lines of a personal message.
Since words are an important way of conveying emotional empathy, give some thought to the ideas that flow through your pen as you prepare to send a message to someone in mourning.
1. Use a medium point, reliable pen. Avoid bright colors, which tend to contradict a sober sentiment. Stick to dark blue or black in a pen that can be trusted. You don’t want a serious card to include a messy note.
2. Decorously offer comfort and sympathy for the reader’s loss, with a gentle reminder that you will be praying for the family, if that is your aim. Keep your words simple and few in keeping with the grave occasion and the dignity of your friend’s emotions.
3. Write neatly or print in small, careful letters. Don’t try for an extravagant handwriting style. You don’t want to overwhelm the reader at this time of loss.
4. Accent the positive. Mention pleasant memories or future hopes, along with your offer of support and comfort. The message should convey the idea of empathy and good intentions. You may want to include an invitation for the reader to call anytime for a favor or to vent. If you know the person well, you might even include a restaurant gift certificate for a quiet evening out or the offer of stopping by to chat or help with cleaning or childcare tasks.
5. Time your card to arrive within one to two weeks of the loved one’s passing. Send it closer to the time if you cannot come to the funeral in person. It can arrive a little later if you will be attending the service. Consider following up with a telephone call the following week to reiterate your offer to help or to see how the person is doing.
Mourning a loss is a difficult but inescapable part of life. It is one of the most important times to demonstrate friendship and affection. Tact, diplomacy, and comforting words mean a great deal to those who have just lost a loved one. Take advantage of this time to provide much needed support.