Humour

Thesis

SCENE: It’s a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.

Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: What are you working on?

Rabbit: My thesis.

Fox: Hmm. What’s it about?

Rabbit: Oh, I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.

(incredulous pause)

Fox: That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes.

Rabbit: Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me.

They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: What’s that you’re writing?

Rabbit: I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.

(loud guffaws)

Wolf: You don’t expect to get such rubbish published, do you?

Rabbit: No problem. Do you want to see why?

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

SCENE: Inside the rabbit’s burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

(The End)

MORAL: It doesn’t matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

It doesn’t matter what you use for data.

What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

 

Cambridge University

Here is a true story regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you

bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (roughly translated): “Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.” Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword at the examination.

 

Hippies

Two hippies were waiting at the bus stop along with a nun with her leg in a cast. The first hippie asked, “Sister, how did you break your leg?” “I slipped in the bathtub.” The second hippie asked the first, “What’s a bathtub?” “How should I know, I’m not Catholic!”