The Rule of Two
Cast:
Skipper – the owner of the schooner “Harebey”
Miss Evans – his bride
Scott – the sailor with a rather silly face
Miss Williams – his girl-friend
I.
Skipper and mate are coming to the schooner.
Mate: It’s getting dark – time to return to the schooner.
Skipper (stopped suddenly): Hush!
Mate: What’s the matter?
Voices and laughter behind the curtain.
Skipper (whispering angrily): How many times did I
tell them not to bring their women to the ship?
Mate: You also promised to eat them without salt.
Skipper: No, I’m going to do something worse than that, I’m
going to cast off quietly and take the women along with us.
Women’ voices behind the curtain: Would you show me how to run
a ship? (Laughter)
Mate: Of course, nobody asks me, but I think the crew will be
very pleased if you do.
Skipper (whispers): We’ll see. (shouts)
Stand by! Hurry up! We’re leaving the harbour.
The crew (helplessly looking at each other) starts doing their duty.
The women still don’t understand what’s happening.
Miss Evans (walking to the captain): What have you
done! Take us back.
Skipper (with sarcasm): women aboard. It can’t
be. I’m sure, I’m dreaming. (suddenly serious) I can’t go back.
Biddle: It’s against the law.
Skipper: To take my own ship out is against the law? I’ll put
them ashore at the port we call at first.
Mate: Plymouth, 500 miles away.
Evans (to Biddle): Do something!
Biddle: It’s against the law, we must submit to the captain.
Williams (to George Scott): Our position is
hopeless?! Act somehow!
Scott: A-a-a...
Biddle: It’s against the law.
Mate (who seemed not to hear them, unemotional):
Six month in prison.
Scott and Biddle start to step back.
Evans: Six months will soon pass.
Williams: It will be a rest for you!
Scott: A-a-a.
Biddle: We are very sorry (quickly goes to the cabin, Scott
follows him).
Williams: How could I think of marrying such a man.
Evans (following Scott and Biddle): We have
nothing more to do with you.
Skipper, holding the wheel, smiling. Mate grinning.
II.
Next morning. Skipper holding the wheel. Enter the women, a little
sleepy, continuing their talk.
Williams: It’s a pity we didn’t think of it before.
Evans (with a meaningful look at Skipper): As easy
as easy.
Williams: He isn’t bigger than a boy. The crew won’t help
him, will they?
Evans: If they do, we’ll do the same to them.
The women leave.
III.
The women enter with mops and bucketsful of tar and paint.
Evans (for Skipper): What wonderful tar.
Williams: Absolutely insoluble.
Skipper still doesn’t understand what the women have in mind,
afraid to look at them.
The women soak the mops in tar and raise them to the skipper.
Evans (very attentively, but with irony): Dear
captain, would you turn back, we must return home before noon.
Skipper (saw the mops very frightened): Please,
put those things down.
Williams (nicely smiling-mocking at skipper): We
won’t force you, we just ask.
The mops move nearer to the skipper.
Skipper: Biddle, Scott! (enter Biddle and Scott) Do something
with these nice ladies.
Scott: Pardon?
Skipper (got angry, half crying): You, stupid man, take
these mops away from them! (Williams levels a mop at the sailors.)
Biddle: It’s against the law to raise a hand against a
passenger. I don’t see what I can do, sir.
Enters the mate, understands the situation.
Mate (very calmly): Oh, I see, we are to turn back.
Skipper: No, over my dead body (turns back to the wheel).
Women: We are very sorry (they soil the skipper with tar. He
runs from them, climbs into the rigging.)
Evans: Come down, come down like a man.
Skipper shakes his fist.
Women look fiercely at mate.
Mate (frightened): Oh, I’m seasick, I have a terrible
headache.
First steps back, then runs to his cabin.
Williams: Boys, would you show us how to run a ship?
Biddle: It’s against... (Evans raises her mop) ... yes, of
course.
Stage adaptation of the story W. Jacobs “The Rule of Three”
Composed by Ludmila Bochkova,
pupil of 9th form, School No. 1259
Teacher T. A. Markovitch
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