Sincerity Can Be Destructive
One of my friends, Vanya, is a very open-hearted person. Once he faced
a problem: he was unfaithful to his girlfriend Katya. It is not a very unusual situation
in life, but for him it was a big problem. He is a really open and honest person, and he
didn’t want to hurt his girlfriend or the other girl either. So he started discussing
the problem with his friends. Being open and sociable, he has a lot of friends, most of
whom were also Katya’s friends. None of them likes gossip, and nobody told Katya about
Vanya’s problem. But as his relations with the other girlfriend were very candid, he
told her everything himself. She found out the truth, including the fact that all her
friends knew the story. As a result she lost trust in her boyfriend and almost all her
friends.
I think, this story well illustrates my point of view – a person
should be discrete. Intimate relations should not become a matter of discussion with other
people – even if those people are your best friends – because they haven’t any
business in your bedroom. People also should not know about your relations at home, about
your own emotions, and so on. And if you make a mistake, you should not forget that it is
your own mistake. If you have friends, they shouldn’t try to correct your mistake, and
you should not lay blame on someone else. Of course, this way of behaviour is more
difficult than the method of collective decision-making in very personal issues; but I
think it is more honest. Even though Katya might say that Vanya should have been
absolutely sincere with her, it would be much better for her not to know the truth. That
truth was destructive for their relations. Surely, to keep silent would be difficult for
Vanya, but it was he who made a mistake, so his difficulties would be a fair punishment.
By Maria Stroilova, a first year student |