AMERICAN SOCIAL RELATIONS

American society is much more informal than that of many other countries. The American mixture of pride in achievement along with lack of importance placed on personal dignity is sometimes difficult for a foreigner to understand.

An example of this way may be that although Americans like to talk about their accomplishments, it is their custom to show certain modesty in reply to compliments.

When someone praises an American upon his achievement or upon his personal appearances, which is a very polite thing to do in America, the American turns it aside. If someone says, “Congratulations upon being elected president of the club,” an American is expected to reply, “Well, I hope I can do a good job,” or something of the sort. Or if someone says, “That’s a pretty blue necktie you are wearing,” an American is likely to say, “I’m glad you like it,” or “Thank you. My wife gave it to me for my birthday.” The response to a compliment seldom gives the idea, “I, too, think I’m pretty good.”

Likewise, there are fewer social conventions that show social differences in America. Students do not rise when a teacher enters the room. One does not always address a person by his title, such as “Professor” or “Doctor.” The respectful “sir” is not always used in the northern and western part of the country.

Clothing in America, as in every place in the world, to a certain degree reflects a person’s social position and income, yet no person is restricted to a certain uniform or manner of dress because of his occupation or class in society. In many companies employees are allowed to wear casual slacks or jeans on Friday because of the coming weekend, though on other days of the week they are expected to wear formal office clothes when a tie is a must. Women in offices usually wear skirts, blouses and stockings.

Yet in spite of all the informality, America is not completely without customs that show consciousness of social distinction. For example, one is likely to use somewhat more formal language when talking to a superior, while an informal “Hello” is an acceptable greeting from an employer. Southerners usually say “Yes, sir” or “Yes, ma’am” when talking to an older person or a person in position of authority. “Yes, Mr. Watson” or “No, Mr. Right” is somewhat more common in a similar situation in the north or west.

Certain other forms of politeness are observed on social occasions. Women often wear hats in expensive restaurants and at luncheons in public places and other public social functions except those that are in the evening. Men ordinarily remove their hats in elevators, restaurants, private homes, business offices – in fact, in most public situations when they wish to show respect.

American surface informality often confuses the foreigner because he interprets it to mean no formality at all. He does not understand the point at which informality stops. A teacher though friendly, pleasant and informal in class, expects students to study hard, and he grades each student’s work critically and carefully. He also expects to be treated with respect.

Also, because an American is more likely to admit and laugh at his own mistake than one who stands more on his dignity, a foreigner sometimes does not know how to handle an American’s is quite apparent modesty. The American is quite ready to admit certain weaknesses, such as “I never was very good at mathematics,” “I’m a poor tennis player,” or “I’m the world’s worse bridge player.” However the stranger must not be too quick to agree with him. Americans think it is all right to admit a defection themselves, but they feel that it is almost an insult if someone else agrees. If a man talks about his weak points, the listener says something of encouragement, or points to other qualities at which the speaker is good. An American student reports that when he was in a foreign country he was completely taken aback when he said to a native, “I don’t speak your language very well” and the native replied, “I should say you don’t…” In a similar situation an American would have commented, “Well, you have only been here two months,” or “But you’re making progress.”

Although Americans are quite informal, it is best for a foreigner, in case of doubt to be too formal rather than not formal enough.

About 70 percent of all American women between the ages of 20 and 44 are working. The wide availability of child-care centres and the fact that children attend school until three or four in the afternoon and eat lunch there has helped many women with children to take jobs outside the home.

Many American children take piano or other music lessons, dancing classes, horse-back riding, swimming, skiing, golf, tennis – i.e. everything that parents think will be good for their children.

The social life is very lively though. One child is off to a party, another to the library, still another to see a film. Neighbours drop by and the telephone keeps ringing. Messages (often put on the refrigerator door) remind one family member to do this or that, to pick up Mary on Monday for her violin lesson, or to bake that cake for the church dinner.

Many adults and teenagers are involved in volunteer work and raise money for charitable purposes or work in hospitals.

I. Read the text and find facts proving these statements

1. The Americans possess pride in achievement along with a lack of importance placed on personal dignity.
2. There are few social conventions that show social differences in the USA.
3. Yet in spite of all informality, America is not completely without customs that show consciousness of social distinction.
4. American surface informality often confuses the foreigner because he interprets it to mean no formality at all.
5. As an American usually admits and laughs at his own mistakes, a foreigner sometimes does not know how to handle the American modesty.
6. The social life in many American families is very lively.

II. Make up a summary of the text.

III. Compare social relations and social life in your country with those in the USA on the basis of the text. Do you think the author gave a true picture of the social relations in the USA? Do you believe all Americans are alike? Have you any personal experience to prove your statements?

By Natalia Predtechenskaya