WHEN YOU'RE THE NEW GIRL ON THE JOB

Being too desperate to fit in can make you the office outcast. Conquer insecurity with these seven keys to quick acceptance!

You’re excited, anxious to prove yourself, eager to learn. No matter how glad you are to be starting a new job, however, making the adjustment to a strange work environmental can be harrowing task. Mastering a different set of duties is only part of the challenge, a simple one compared to figuring out the social structure of the office: which coworkers are genuinely helpful, which mean trouble, where loyalties lie, and all the unwritten rules employees live by.

“Every company has its own corporate culture – codes of behavior that help the group function as an efficient team,” says Donna Wagner, director of educational research from Pasadena, California. “The people you work with may not be consciously aware of these norms, but they will notice if they’re violated.” The company’s technical staff may come to work in jeans and sneakers, while a secretary who dresses casually will raise eyebrows. In a hierarchy where people socialize only with those at the same job level, inviting your supervisor to lunch may offend your coworkers. So observing and adapting to your new office’s norms are the keys to acceptance – and success.

Depending on the company’s unique atmosphere, it could take several weeks before you stop behave like an alien and become truly acclimated. In the meantime, you can make the adjustment a smoother one by keeping the following points in mind…

1. Be friendly but not pushy. Don’t make the mistake of waiting for your coworkers to welcome you (it may not happen!). Instead, introduce yourself to them as soon as possible. It’s best if your boss (or a longtime staff member) walks you through the office on your first day, but if she’s too busy, don’t be shy about taking the initiative. Keep your spiel short: “Hi, I’m Jane Collier, the new production assistant” is enough, unless a coworker draws you into conversation.

Peggy Schmidt, author of Making It on Your First Job, also recommends sketching out an office seating chart as soon as you return to your desk to help you remember everyone – if you greet others by name, they’re more likely to try to remember yours. And don’t forget to smile. “Basic though it sounds,” says Schmidt “smiling is one of the best ways to get people to notice and accept you.”

Still, your first lunch break can be an especially nerve-racking experience – no one wants to be stuck sitting by herself in the cafeteria as the rest of the office splits into well-established groups. So try this tactful strategy for heading off lunchtime loneliness without forcing yourself on your colleagues. As the hour nears, approach a coworker and ask her a few general questions: “What do people here usually do for lunch? Can you suggest a good place for takeout?” She’s likely to take advantage of the opening and invite you to join her.

2. Don’t expect the atmosphere of your new office to be the same as that of your former one. When Anne switched from manufacturing to the sales branch of the same company, she missed the “hometown” feel of her old office. “Manufacturing was a small department, and everyone was very low-key and easygoing. The sales staff is bigger and tougher to please – they have a show the attitude,” she says. “At first, I felt frustrated and thought, I can’t work in this atmosphere. But I’ve learned to appreciate the challenge of meeting their demands. When I succeed, I feel as though I’ve really accomplished something.”

In addition, a communication style that’s effective in one field may be out of place in another, as Renata found when she made the jump from social worker to human-resources administrator for a financial-services company. “I was so nervous about making the change, I asked for a lot of reassurance,” she explains. “When my boss said that acknowledging my anxiety was making me seem like a light-weight, I was shocked – I thought I was just being open and honest, traits that are expected in the counseling field. But that approach can hurt you in business, and I’ve had to learn to keep my self-doubts to myself.”

3. Listen more often than you talk. Absorbing the company culture takes time, explains Schmidt, “Act like a spy: Be extremely observant, ask a lot of questions, and pay attention to the answers.”

Adele Greene, a New York City management consultant who teaches a course on workplace politics, says understanding the logic behind what you’re learning is as understanding the systems themselves. If you know why the payment records are kept a certain way, you’ll be able to track down a missing invoice more quickly.

Furthermore, fight the impulse to impress others with what you already know. Jill, an office manager at a software company, recalls the new programmer who prefaced every suggestion with the reminder that she’d worked for company X for five years and company Z for another six. “We all rolled our eyes. In this industry, everyone has credentials. Once you’ve proved yourself with a few months of consistent work, people are more willing to take you seriously.”

4. Watch out for office losers. “Don’t get too cozy with anyone until you’ve identified the key players and discovered who’s aligned with whom,” advises Schmidt. “The people who try to latch onto you right away are often the office outcasts. But you may not find out until later – after you’ve been linked with them.”

At meetings, notice which staff members are encouraged to develop their ideas and which ones are interrupted or ignored. At informal gathering places, such as the cafeteria, watercooler, or even the washroom, make a point of observing whose conversations are cut off quickly, and with whom eye contact – a sign of respect – is made. Of course, you should never be manipulative or rude; just don’t rush to get personal with anyone.

“When I started my job,” says Susan, twenty-five, a secretary at an architectural firm, “it was tough not knowing anyone. One of the other secretaries was so friendly I couldn’t help being flattered. We started getting together for drinks after work and going to clubs on weekends. One night, I confided I was having a terrible time choosing between two men I was dating. A few days afterward, I learned she’d told the whole office I was sleeping with more than one man, making me sound promiscuous. Now I’m much more careful about turning coworkers into friends. I make sure they’re trust-worthy before I socialize with them – and there are some things I just keep to myself.”

5. Take advantage of company-sponsored activities. Playing on the office softball team, attending a lunchtime lecture on an industry issue, collecting for the United Way – all offer opportunities for meeting your coworkers and superiors and nurturing a sense of belonging. These occasions also raise your visibility. “Outside the strict confines of your job, you can mix with people at many different levels of responsibility,” Schmidt points out, “and become known in a broader way to the rest of the company.”

Louise, twenty-eight, a customer-service rep for a mail-order firm, dreamed of a job in public relations. She volunteered for the company’s annual blood drive and got to know one of the public-relations associates involved. Through him, Louise learned there was an opening for an assistant special-events coordinator. And because he’d been impressed with her energy and organizational skills during the blood drive, he helped Louise land the job.

6. Pitch in You may have taken care of every item on your desk and in your boss’s out box, but resist the temptation to pull out a novel or shoot down the hall for a chat with your new friend in research. With your supervisor’s permission, ask a coworker if you can help her out. According to Schmidt, “The person who says ‘What else can I do? Aim me in the right direction, and I’ll try to figure it out,’ will win points for being efficient and a team player.”

Even if you’re not crazy about every aspect of your job (and who is?), being a good sport will put others on your side. Complaining won’t. “Two months ago, we hired an assistant marketing manager from a much larger firm,” says Emily, who works for a small pharmaceutical company, “and everyone already hates her. She can’t seem to understand that in a place like this you have to do things that aren’t in your job description. If you want a new bulletin board, you don’t fill out a requisition form – you go downstairs in your high heels, get the board, drag it back up to the office, and install it yourself. By whining about our supposed inefficiency, she’s managed to alienate the entire staff. She’s going to be in trouble someday when she has to get a report out, it’s a quarter to five, and everyone who might be able to help her leaves at their regular time.”

7. Be upbeat – within limits. When Isabel, twenty-three, was hired as an assistant to a vice president of a prestigious advertising firm, she was thrilled. Naturally outgoing, she made a point of telling everyone who passed her desk how happy she was to be working there and what a great gal her boss was. Unfortunately, one of the people she bubbled to turned out to be a new client on a sensitive account, who was bothered by such an unprofessional attitude – and told her boss so. Luckily, Isabel quickly learned to tame her behavior.

New employees need to walk a fine line – enthusiastic but not overeager, confident but not brash, friendly but not desperate. If the challenge seems daunting, don’t despair: When coworkers see you’re willing to adapt, they’ll nearly always lend a hand. The more sensitive you are to company nuances, the sooner they’ll become second nature…and the better you’ll be at helping out the next starry-eyed, confused soul who’s doing her best to fit in.

Twenty-Five Common Interview Questions

Most job interviews are essentially question-and-answer sessions: You answer interviewer’s questions about your background, and you ask questions of your own determine whether the job and the organization are right for you. By planning it you can handle these exchanges intelligently.

You can expect to be asked about what you have achieved, your interests and hobbies, how you feel about work and school, and your relationships with friends and family members.

By Julia Pykhtina