Are You a Real Teacher?

If you agree with at least ten of the following, you are a real teacher.

You find humor in other people’s stupidity.

You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 8 to 3 and have summers free.”

You believe chocolate is a food group.

You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own box on the report card.

You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, the kids are sure mellow today.”

When out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at a child.

You have no time for a life from August through June.

Putting all “5’s” on a report card would make your life SO much easier.

When you mention vegetables, you are not talking about food.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

You encourage a parent to check into home schooling.

You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in a middle school for at least five years.

You can’t have children because there isn’t any name you can hear that wouldn’t elevate your blood pressure.

You can “sense” gum.

You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.

Meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like that?”